Latest posts

ALONE BUT NOT LONELY

I recently celebrated a birthday that took me a little further away from the mid-century mark. I celebrated alone.

I bought myself a small black forest cake (my favourite since I can remember), lit some candles, and made a wish (which I now don’t remember but it’s bound to come true since every small torch was extinguished with one mighty breath).

I bought myself a single serving bottle of bubbly and thoroughly enjoyed a mimosa with breakfast.

My only company was the army of dust balls that continues to amass under my couch.

And I was perfectly okay with that.

I didn’t need to talk myself into feeling good about marking my day alone.

I didn’t need to pull out the mantra, “I’m strong. I don’t need a partner to make things complete.”

I know a lot of people won’t get it. They might think of me with pity or imagine the horror of ever having to celebrate a birthday alone.

But I’m at a stage in life where things are pretty damn good. I’ve worked hard and if there is something I need (or want), I am in the fortunate position that I can go out and get it (unless we’re talking about a Renegade Jeep which I’ve wanted forever – that would need some financing). The point is, there is nothing that I am really lacking, materially or spiritually.

Would I like to have a special someone to share my birthday with? Of course I would. But do I need one? Absolutely not. Quite a different story from a decade ago when I would have taken pity on myself and used a whole lot of “woe is me”, lamenting my lack of a mate.

I guess this is what they call maturity. I am perfectly content with my life and who I am (doesn’t mean there still isn’t room for more growth – trust me there’s a mansion full of space!). But to invite someone into that life, they are going to have to be pretty special. They are going to have to earn their way in, just as I will need to earn my way into theirs. I know I deserve it and am worth the effort. And if that special someone is worth his salt, he’ll be willing to make that effort.

There is still so much societal pressure to find “the one”; that I am somehow a lesser person if I don’t. TV sitcoms may portray someone like me – single, successful, accomplished, basically put together – but those women always seem so focused on who they can next bed. It obviously makes for more entertaining television, but it isn’t real life.

Real life is not allowing single-dom to prevent me from doing what I love to do, such as traveling. I recently traveled on my own and thoroughly enjoyed it. It gave me time to reflect, write, and read, to reconnect with my real person.

Until my special person comes along, I’ll continue traveling and celebrating my birthday alone, but I won’t be lonely.