My love-hate relationship with Valentine’s Day

Things I love about Valentine’s Day

• (I’m thinking)
• (I’m still thinking)
• (Nope, can’t come up with anything)

Things I don’t love about Valentine’s Day

• Commercialism
• Pressure
• Increased prices
• So much pink!

So, it seems I don’t actually have a love-hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. It’s 100 percent a day with which I am not enamoured. Having said that, you’re a brave man if you’re in a relationship with me and actually take me at my word when I say I don’t want anything to mark the day. I know, mixed messages.

It was so easy when we were kids. The build-up of excitement as February 14 crept closer. Everywhere you looked you started seeing more hearts and candy and flowers and lots and lots of red and pink. Mom would buy cards for us three kids to hand out to our classmates. I would put a lot of thought into deciding who exactly would get what card and my declaration of love or friendship. Would it be the athletic boy with the blonde hair and blue eyes, or the boy with long darker hair who reminded me of one of the Bay City Rollers? Be still, my beating heart.

But was it really so carefree? Think of the pressure that came with it. What if I didn’t get a Valentine from anyone? What if the boy whose last name I was practicing my cursive writing alongside my first name (Mrs. Katherine Bain) and dotting all the i’s with little hearts, didn’t even know I was alive? And, what if my future husband did give me a card? Aside from giggling and turning so many shades of red that I matched the card, what the heck was supposed to happen next?!

There were candy hearts with innocent sayings on them. Stuff like “Be My Valentine” and “You’re Cute”. Nowadays they say things like “text me” and “tweet me” and “soul mate” and “I love you”. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the fastest way to get someone to turn and run in the opposite direction is to call them your soul mate before you’ve even said two words to them.

There were cinnamon heart candies and chocolates in heart-shaped boxes. Sweet edibles that have stood the test of time.

Drowning in pink

I haven’t felt the pressure that comes with February 14 in quite a while. But it’s out there. You see it everywhere, usually starting before Christmas cards have even been removed from the store shelves. We are bombarded with reminders about how exactly we should express our undying love for that special someone, whether it’s through a dozen of exorbitantly priced red roses tied up nicely in a red bow or dinner reservations at a fancy restaurant. Oh, and jewellery. Can’t forget the diamonds! How could anyone in their right mind say no to the “better than roses diamond”? Even Cheerios is getting in on the act, reintroducing their heart-shaped oat cereal with the slogan “Eat your heart out”. Coincidence those ads are reappearing now? I think not.

Some schools are banning Valentine’s Day because:

• Not everyone can afford to hand out cards or candy
• Not everyone celebrates the day
• Candy isn’t healthy

I don’t agree with this. My family was one of the poorest at my school and yet I don’t remember a year when we did not hand out Valentine’s Day cards. If we couldn’t afford to buy a package, there was always construction paper, crayons and markers in the house, and we would make our own.

It’s a missed opportunity to introduce the celebrated traditions, tacky as they can be, with people who aren’t familiar with them.

Candy isn’t healthy. Are schools also banning Halloween?

My memories of Valentine’s Day as a kid are filled with a nervous excitement. It was fun. It was harmless. Steps were taken to make sure every student in the class received at least one expression of friendship. Isn’t that the important take-away? Isn’t that what we’re really celebrating? That regardless of your background or social standing, you are cared for?

I know I’m full of contradictions here – celebrate Valentine’s Day, don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day; buy presents, don’t buy presents.

Personally, I would much prefer that my partner show me he cares throughout the year, rather than waiting to be told to do so on one specific day. At the same time, storm clouds will be brewing if the day of love comes and goes and there is no card or candy hearts or tulips (no roses please) waiting for me. 

To any future suitors out there, you can’t say you haven’t been warned.